


Dear Us

by Ivanna_panda13



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Gay, Korean War, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivanna_panda13/pseuds/Ivanna_panda13
Summary: A letter exchange between Hawkeye and Trapper. Inspired by the "Dear [insert name]" episodes.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Dear Us

_Dear Trapper,_

_I don’t know how to start off this letter personally. I don’t know how to start off most letters addressed to you. I suppose that’s why I’ve failed to send them all even when finding myself in the same spot to begin writing. Our spot. The tree slightly out of camp, where we felt like we could hide from the world._

“You know, with the beauty of the spring sun on us right now, I would believe we were in Maine. Where no one can interrupt us,” said Hawkeye. He laid on the grassy field of wildflowers with closed eyes, resting his head on another doctor's lap. The peaceful sound of the only wind was able to play as a further disguise. It helped Hawkeye submerge in the feeling of home and not Korea. 

Trapper smiled down at Hawkeye, hand caressing the dark locks of his… friend? Lover? Boyfriend? Trapper didn’t know, but he didn’t care to clarify right now. “Why only Maine? There is another state out there called Massachusetts that feels just like this,” chuckled Trapper. Hawkeye opened his eyes with a pout in an almost confusion. 

“Because my dear, Maine is the best,” proclaimed Hawkeye. “And once all of this is over, you’ll see it for yourself,” Hawkeye added, nipping at Trappers’ nose. Hawkeye shifted himself off of Trapper’s lap, cuddled beside him as his back rested against the tree. 

Almost by instinct, Trapper wrapped his arms around Hawkeye’s waist, burying his cheek in the other man’s hair. “I can’t wait for that day to come. Maybe I can have a nice apple in Crabapple,” said Trapper, earning a chuckle. 

“Exactly,” Hawkeye muttered, lacing fingers through Trappers. They both just enjoyed the calm silence and pretended like nothing was happening but only them.

_But alas, writing a letter and sending it is something I have to do. So here I am in my terrible cot, sipping on our homemade gin, and you’re not here. Let me catch you up on the latest news at 4077th that I know you’d love to be a part of. For starters, it is as though Margaret, Klinger, and I are the only people left since the beginning. Your replacement, B.J Hunnicutt, is someone I can consider my best friend in this place. Don’t get insulted when you read that. You’re still unique in my heart. In my mind, you two would get along in the ordinary world. Maybe after all of this, we could be the three musketeers._

“You’re just in time for our sale special on army cots,” said Hawkeye, opening the swamp’s thin wooden door for B.J, one hand carrying his other suitcase. For someone who got pulled away from his wife and toddler, the man had one big smile on. Hawkeye knew it would disappear in a matter of weeks. “Here,” muttered Hawkeye, placing B.J’s suitcase on Trapper’s cot, averting his eyes to anywhere but the sleeping area. B.J could read the melancholy on poor Hawkeye’s face, wanting to know more about the man who left. Hawkeye sat down on the tattered office chair by the stile, debating to pour himself a glass. His first glass without Trapper. 

B.J relaxed in his new ‘home,’ rolling up the sleeves and pulling up a chair close to Hawkeye. He leaned on his knees, seeing how Hawkeye’s eyes were glued to the stile. “You okay?” asked B.J. 

This made Hawkeye snap back into reality, blinking as if he just woke up from a moment of sleep. “Huh?” 

B.J chuckled. “Are you okay? You look pretty… dazed? Is there anything on your mind?” asked B.J, his voice sounding as soft as almost a parent.

Hawkeye cleared his throat, nodding to B.J. “Just questioning a little bit. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my person. Sorry if I’m dampening the mood on your first day,” uttered Hawkeye, sinking further into the chair. 

“Don’t worry, I can relate. I’m away from Peg and Erin. They’re my family, and Peg is my person. My first day in the army isn’t supposed to be great,” said B.J. 

Hawkeye looked at B.J with fondness at his almost naivety. “Thank you. Maybe later down the line, I can tell you about my person. When the time is right,” 

_Our favorite pass time for foolery named Frank Burns, went AWOL after Margaret’s engagement yet still managed to win the lottery. He went back home to work at VA hospital, the lucky bastard. B.J and I were so mad, we trashed everything we could find that reminded us of him. We weren’t angry just because he got to go home. We were mad because he would get to see his family. The POS who cheated on his wife was able to see her and his kids. While I haven’t seen my dad in two years. And I won’t lie, you also came into mind when I was destroying things. I was angry because you didn’t leave a note when you should have and mad. Because after all, I miss you so much._

Hawkeye shot back another ‘martini’ in one gulp, dropping the glass hard against the wooden bar top. Father Mulchany’s piano playing in the O.C was bothersome to Hawkeye, ordering another drink to tune it out. What was most likely the fifth martini Hawkeye had bought, B.J grew worrisome. He stopped drinking entirely for the evening, making certainHawkeye walked back to their tent in one piece. B.J signaled Klinger to cut Hawkeye off, reaching for his arm. 

“Come on, Hawk, I think it’s time for bed,” said B.J, taking a steady hold on the other man. Hawkeye didn’t object to B.J, only grunted as he dragged his feet. 

“I’m not ready for bed. I still got a few left in me,” slurred Hawkeye, eyes half-closed. 

B.J used all of his strength to not drop Hawkeye, balancing when opening the swamp’s door. “I think it’s best if you don’t drink anymore for the night. You can stay up if you want,” said B.J, dropped Hawkeye on his chair. B.J stared at Hawkeye with an intense frown, trying to read his behavior. This was the second time Hawkeye showed this kind of emotion, wanting to know more. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange since Frank left,” asked B.J. 

Hawkeye chuckled dryly. “Why wouldn’t I be okay? It’s not like the man I strongly disliked got to go back home to love while I’m stuck here,” 

B.J sat on Hawkeye’s cot, still analyzing his every movement. “It’s been almost two weeks. I already stopped wallowing in my own sadness, and the way you’re acting has something else on top of it. Seriously, Hawk, what’s going on?” 

Hawkeye gazed at B.J from the corner of his eyes then at the cot to his right. “I’m just wallowing in my own self-pity. I need it every once in a while from everything,” 

“But it’s not because Frank got a one-way ticket out of here,” 

Hawkeye shook his head. “You know how I told you how I didn’t get to say goodbye to my person?” B.J nodded. “I got the sudden hit of remembering them when Frank left. He would’ve celebrated with you and me for days, throwing Frank’s cot in a ditch. All of us at Rosie’s singing whatever came into his head. Just remembered him,” chuckled Hawkeye, a dopey smile creeping on his lips. 

B.J stared at Hawkeye for a moment, lips parting as the wheels in his head started to turn. “Trapper is your person?” 

“All 6’3 of him. Trapper is my person, just like how Peg is yours. Except you write to each other,” mumbled Hawkeye, sighing out into the tent. B.J placed a reassuring hand on Hawkeye’s arm, a slight squeeze for comfort. Hawkeye only remained silent, thinking back on the mayhem of him and Trapper. “I should write to him,” 

B.J sighed out, getting up on his feet. “We’ll talk about this in the morning, Hawk. Let’s get you to bed,” B.J helped Hawkeye on his feet, only to have the shorter man stumble in for a hug. B.J only patted Hawkeye on the back as he frowned, sad to see his friend so miserable. Hawkeye clung on to B.J almost for dear life, trying his best not to break.

_Whenever something reminds me of you, it sticks out like a sore thumb to my days here. I try not to think about it for too long, but then it becomes insufferable to what is already an intolerable situation. You would think being in the middle of a war would pause the thoughts of back home, but it doesn’t. For example, I saw another case of something forbidden. Something we can relate to and have helped someone else out. B.J and I saw these two soldiers, and I swear I could’ve cried. Sorry if you think I’m too emotional for you. I think I’ve drunk too much of the sauce, but it’s true. They were two great kids that should’ve been home enjoying a carnival instead of being here. The moment they saw each other, it was as if everything else didn’t matter._

Spring made a surprise appearance in Korea. Hawkeye basked in the sun as he stepped out of the swamp for his shift at post-op. The subtle warmth felt great on his skin. Hawkeye noticed a lost army soldier looking around with an intense frown when reaching the hospital’s front. The soldier stared at the bulletin board, analyzing every posted piece of paper for something. Hawkeye stuffed his hands in his khaki pants, carefully stepping towards the boy.

“You lost soldier? Looking for your Major?” asked Hawkeye. The soldier almost jumped out of his skin from Hawkeye’s voice; his hazel eyes shot open wide. “Sorry for scaring you,”

“It’s-It’s okay, sir. I am kind of lost. I’m looking for my friend. My major told me I could find him here,” stuttered the young soldier, looking up at Hawkeye. 

“Well, this is the wonderful MASH 4077th. I’m Captain Pierce but more doctor than a captain,” said Hawkeye, extending out a hand. 

“David,” smiled David, accepting Hawkeye’s handshake. 

“Who’s your friend? We got wounded a couple days ago,”

“His name’s Richard McLoughlin. He’s a blondie with a dopey smile on all the time,” uttered David, almost sad. If Hawkeye didn’t catch himself, he would’ve raised an eyebrow at how David described his friend Richard. 

“Richard McLoughlin. Richard McLoughlin. Sounds familiar. How about I walk you to post-op? He should be resting up in there,” said Hawkeye, guiding David with a hand on his shoulder. As the two stepped right into post-op, David was on high alert, glancing at every bed. When Hawkeye spotted B.J standing over a patient’s bed, David didn’t wait any longer to walk right over. B.J’s patient emotions changed from bored to excited in one snap. 

“Richie!” exclaimed David, smiling brightly as he kneed down on the bedside. 

“Davey! Finally, you found me,” teased Richard, having the dopey smile David said he had. B.J scrunched his eyebrows in a confused frown, looking over to see Hawkeye smile at the two young soldiers as he stood beside him. “Took you a while to get here. I’ve been bored for days now,” said Richard. David only chuckled with Richard, looking at the bandages wrapped around his right shoulder. “Awe, I’m sorry, Richie. You know how the major can get,” said David, placing a hand on Richard’s left arm in the best way to be discrete. 

“Good to see your friend, alright, David. B.J here is the best doctor around,” said Hawkeye, patting B.J on the back. 

“Well, Richard is doing great with recovery. Fortunately, there wasn’t a whole lot of shrapnel in your shoulder that affected much,” explained B.J with a proud smile. 

“When is he gonna be out of here, Doc?” asked David. 

“Even though Rich is doing a good job at recovering, we’re still gonna send him down to Seoul for some P.T tomorrow. Just to make sure he gets full use before sending him on the front lines,” said B.J, leaning against the bedpost. 

“Ah, come on, Doc, my shoulder doesn’t even hurt that bad. I’ll be fine back at the front,” complained Richard. 

“Easy, Richie. If you need to head to Seoul, then it’s better safe than sorry. They’ll probably send you back in no time after dealing with your stubbornness,” teased David, chuckling when Richard glaring at him. “I’m not stubborn,” mumbled Richard. B.J raised an eyebrow to Hawkeye, who still had a soft smile at the young soldiers. B.J looked at the young soldiers one more time before a light bulb turned on in his brain, being able to connect the dots.

“Ya know, Richard, I would recommend a walk to help boost your immune system if you were my patient. Maybe Dr. Hunnicutt can prescribe that,” suggested Hawkeye, budging B.J with his elbow. B.J nodded away with pure enthusiasm, trying not to be too on the nose. 

“Yeah. Yeah. I think a walk around camp would be great for you. We can get a nurse to bring you a robe and slippers. I’m guessing David will keep an eye out for any problems,” said B.J, smiling at the two. 

“Oh yes, I will, sir. It’ll be good for you, Richie,” said David. Richie only kept at David, hanging onto every word he said. 

“Nurse Anderson, could you please find the most luxurious robe and slippers we have in our facility,” said Hawkeye, deepening his voice as he and B.J waltzed to the desk. Hawkeye sat down in the wooden office chair while B.J perched himself on top of the desk. They both looked from afar at David, and Richard only spoke to each other. They paid no attention to anyone else, even when the nurse brought Richard his robe and slippers. “I know I say this almost every day, but I hate seeing kids in here,” muttered Hawkeye with a sigh as he reclined in the seat.

“I know what you mean. Richard just turned 20 two months ago. David’s got to be just 18,” said B.J, almost defeated. 

“At least they have each to lean on while they’re stuck here. Then maybe go home and live a somewhat life of normalcy,” said Hawkeye. 

“I can tell by that smile you had you knew about them,” whispered B.J. Hawkeye didn’t answer, only began looking through the piles of paperwork on the desk. “Reminds you of anything? Or anyone, in particular, that could be stateside?” 

“No. No one at all,” Hawkeye said with a stern voice. 

“You said you were going to write him a letter,” 

“I say a lot of things when I’m emotional and drunk off martinis,” 

“But doesn’t seeing them just make you think about-” 

“No,” 

“Come on, Hawk. I know you-” 

“Stop it,” 

“I’m not gonna stop bugging you until I hear a yes. You can’t keep running from-” 

“Fine!” Hawkeye whispered through his teeth, frowning at B.J. “If it’s gonna make you stop bothering me, I’ll write to him. And if I don’t hear anything back from him, you’re buying all of my sad drinks,” 

B.J smiled, jumping off the desk with glee. “That’s what I like to hear. It’ll be good for you in the end,” said B.J, patting Hawkeye on the back before disappearing back into the swamp. 

_I want you to know I don’t hate you for leaving without a word. In some way, it was my fault for how I treated my solo R &R after Henry’s death that I didn’t get the message. When I got back, I raced down to the base in hopes of catching you. I really wanted to return that goddamn kiss. I miss the hell out of you, Trapper. Everything around me just feels like a drag with each passing day. We made it entertaining as much as we could while we were here together. But I am happy you’re back with your girls. That’s where you belong, being the best father I know you are. I do have one question for you, though. Did you hear about me being officially dead according to the army? And if you did, I hope you didn’t freak out as bad as my old man did. I almost ran out of here because of that… _

_I’m not going to make this longer than it needs to be. I hope you’re reading this when you’re happy after a nice meal. I hope Boston is as great as you made it out to be. Because let me tell you, Frank’s replacement is a silver spoon baby who makes me hate the city._

_I miss you… I think I said that already…_

_I hope you have a sunny day._

_Love, Hawkeye_

As Hawkeye signed off on the letter, he read through it one more time in hopes it made sense. He swung his legs off the cot, folding the small piece of paper, and began looking for an envelope in his area. Hawkeye walked over to B.J's little stationery set, trying his hardest to find just one lousy envelope. The sound of the swamp door surprised Hawkeye almost, looking over his shoulder. “Hey Beej, do you have a spare envelope I could use?” asked Hawkeye. 

B.J hung his shower robe on the lonely hook, scrunching his brows as he searched through his belongings. “Sorry Hawk, no luck. I think you’re gonna have to ask Radar for one,” said B.J sitting down on his cot. Hawkeye sighed, looking down at the folded letter in his hands. “Finally got around to finishing it?” asked B.J with a smile. 

“Yeah, now let’s see if Radar still has Trap’s folder for his address,” uttered Hawkeye. 

“Knowing Radar, I’m sure he still has something in his filing system. Don’t you feel better already by just writing to him? Soon you’re gonna be so happy to get a letter back,” said B.J, relaxing in his cot. 

Hawkeye glared at him, not wanting to admit he liked his friend's optimism. “Yeah yeah. We’ll see about that. Now let’s see what Radar has in that brain of his,” Hawkeye told B.J as he left the swamp, walking past others on camp before heading straight to the offices. Hawkeye pushed the thin wooden doors, seeing Radar skim through a set of files in the filing cabinet. “Ah, Radar! Just the man I want to see in the place I want him to be,” smiled Hawkeye, leaning against the filing cabinet. 

Radar scrunched his eyebrows at Hawkeye, becoming confused by his hello. “Is there anything I can help you with, Captain?” asked Radar. 

Hawkeye pressed his lips together, almost hesitant to even ask for help. “Um yeah. Do… do you happen to still have Trapper’s file?” 

“Yes, sir. I moved it to the back since he isn’t here anymore, but it is still classified, Captain. I’m sorry,” said Radar, frowning. 

“I just need his address. I’m going to mail him a letter,” said Hawkeye. 

“Oh, I can do that for you, sir. I just got a new box of envelopes on my desk,” said Radar, walking over to the wooden desk with files in his hand. 

“If I give the letter to you, will your eyes stay out of it?” asked Hawkeye, chuckling at seeing Radar’s shocked, almost offended face. Radar reached into the box of envelopes on his desk, pulling out a clean yellow one to pass Hawkeye. “Here. Stick your letter in the envelope, and I’ll address it. The mail gets shipped out tomorrow,” said Radar. 

“Thank you,” said Hawkeye, carefully sliding in the letter. As Hawkeye licked the bitter glue on the flap, he paused for a moment to stare with more hesitation. Hawkeye kissed it goodbye and dropped it on Radar’s desk. Oh, how mail day will be for Hawkeye later on. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little chapter. Please leave a kudos and comment. thank you :3


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